FRACTURED PERCEPTIONS (2023) is a short film based on the poem and upcoming book of the same title by A RAY OF SIGH founder and creative director Meri Utkovska.

Utkovska shot the film between 2021 and 2023 in various locations across North Macedonia, including the beautiful Pelister National Park, but primarily in her family home, as with most of her films.
 

FRACTURED PERCEPTIONS is Meri Utkovska's first short film/video essay, and is available to watch on A RAY OF SIGH's YouTube Channel.
 

FRACTURED PERCEPTIONS
 

I wake up at the cusp of dawn
with fractured perceptions – 
I am a vast sense of longing
shaped into a ravenous sea.
Out of my mouth, the birds have still not fled,
and in the back of the mind
a vision is calling from the distance.
Even the heart is sleepy,
sinking into the secrets of its romantic fantasies.

 

I wake up on top of a mountain
soaked in sunlight –
I am only a trace that makes you dream,
and all my fears and anxieties
gnaw at the vertical in my center,
hardly resting.
Out of my gut, a thousand fires have been lit,
and in the back of the morning
an orchestra plays its first strings.
Even the broken-hearted sing,
wiping away their tears, and stepping into
time’s passing.

 

I wake up on the farthest side of nowhere
with an acute awareness – 
I am but a gust of wind
whose resting place is the interstice 
where your thoughts cease to be.
Out of my most violent of emotions,
a stillness rose and calmed the sea,
and in the back of dusk falling,
a puncture wound stands witness
of a memory.
Even the sky falls once in a while,
it runs out of breath in the middle of its dances,
and it collapses – 

 

There,
where the tenderest parts of the body,
meet the creases of your bedsheets.

 

And I wake up,
and it is spring.