A Chain Explosion: Meri Utkovska on Love, Impermanence, and the Art of Living

Meri Utkovska
Apr 17, 2024
3 min read

Updated: 7 hours ago

Person in a black outfit and sunglasses, looking off to the side. Bright white background, high contrast. Confident and stylish mood. — Meri Utkovska | photo credit: Meri Utkovska / A RAY OF SIGH

About Meri Utkovska

Meri Utkovska (b. March 17, 1993) is a poet, writer, artist, internationally published author, photographer, founder and creative director of A RAY OF SIGH.

A Ray of Sigh: The Eternal Circle Where You and I Reside (2022) is her first book of poetry and photography.

She is currently working on her second book, Fractured Perceptions.

A Chain Explosion

BY MERI UTKOVSKA

It’s fleeting

this being something matter-made

in the cold gut of eternal darkness.

See, the clouds no longer carry a burden,

grey, troublesome, solemn -

they carry nothing.

When I look at you

and your face fails to hide

your immaculate humanity,

somewhere, I’m sure, it dawns.

Concentric circles appear at the point of

transference-

water and skin.

Now, as part of the now

and as the wholeness of time’s fluidity.

Isn’t it strange?

How in the space of attempting to understand

our frailty, we become a no-thing,

that needs no understanding.

See, memory is but a story -

a chain explosion of voices, smells, feelings,

burnt pieces of bread,

and spilled coffee.

When I look into the palms of grief,

and the seasons of the Earth

and the depths of the cosmos

amalgamate, somewhere, I’m sure,

existence falls out of existing.

Broken up bird song appears at the point of

a fading day -

sound and air.

Now, as a part of me,

and as the wholeness of you -

you you you

as a part of me and as the wholeness of all there is -

fleeting.

Верижна Експлозија

МЕРИ УТКОВСКА

Минливо е

ова бидување нешто од материја исткаено

во студената утроба на вечниот мрак.

Погледни, облаците веќе товар не носат,

сиви, мачни, свечени -

ништо не носат.

Кога те гледам

и лицето не успева да ти ја сокрие

беспрекорната човечност,

некаде, сигурна сум, се разденува.

Концентрични кругови се појавуваат во точката

на пренесување -

вода и кожа.

Сега, како дел од сегашноста

и како целосноста на времето растечено.

Нели е чудно?

Како во просторот на обидот за разбирање

на нашата кревкост, стануваме некое ништо,

кое потреба за разбирање нема.

Погледни, сеќавањето е само приказна -

верижна експлозија од гласови, мириси, чувства,

загорени парчиња леб,

и истурено кафе.

Кога гледам во дланките на тагата,

и годишните времиња на Земјата

и длабочините на космосот

се соединуваат во едно единствено тело,

некаде, сигурна сум, постоењето престанува да постои.

Во точката на згаснатиот ден се појавува

испрекинатата песна на птиците.

звук и воздух.

Сега, како дел од мене,

и како целосноста твоја -

ти ти ти

како дел од мене и како целосноста

на сѐ што е -

минлив.

Essential Books by Meri Utkovska

A RAY OF SIGH: The Eternal Circle Where You and I Reside (2022)

(HARDCOVER)

Black book cover titled "A Ray of Sigh" by M. Itkovska. Features a pensive woman smoking. Subtitle: "The Eternal Circle Where You and I Reside."

DESCRIPTION A Ray of Sigh: The Eternal Circle Where You and I Reside is a story of 33 poems and 33 photographs, all created amidst the uncertainties that the author and the world, have encountered these past few years.

It is a book about the rise and fall, the ebb and flow, the music, beauty, and the inevitable darkness that is part of life.

It is a book about us, our loves, and our losses, our mortality, and our infinity.

Created in black and white, the photographs guide the reader in a world of light and shadow, rather then colour. And, together with the poems, offer a mystery - universal, yet, individual - ready to be discovered.

Product details

ASIN: B09YP3HMN1

Publisher: ‎ Independently published

Publication date: ‎ April 27, 2022

Language: ‎ English

Print lengt: ‎ 133 pages

ISBN-13: ‎ 979-8448616846

Item Weight: ‎ 14.2 ounces

Dimensions: ‎ 8.25 x 0.51 x 11 inches Order A RAY OF SIGH: The Eternal Circle Where You and I Reside (2022), hardcover edition from Amazon.com

Also available in a paperback and Kindle edition.

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